Lifestyle

HANNspree

Television has been with you from the beginning. You learned about love from Kelly Kapowski, respect for the law from CHiPs, and the capricious vicissitudes of the universe from Joe Theisman's jagged, bloody tibia. Now it's time to show your appreciation by giving Television the stylish home it deserves: HANNspree, who'll be making their line of customized flatscreens available to New Yorkers starting tomorrow

HANNspree offers more than 100 unique designs, many as elegant and pleasing as a young Scott Baio. For instance, the "Time Square" sports black leather arms, displaying a barometer and thermometer -- perfect for calibrating your apartment to "Hawaii Conditions" during reruns of Magnum, P.I. Meanwhile, the "Vaas" model boasts a black walnut shell, inspired by the body of a cello, a hint of class that should help make up for your compulsive whistling of the PC Richards jingle. Despite their aesthetic superiority, HANNsprees are only about 15% more expensive than their standard, black-box counterparts -- a sacrifice you should gladly make, considering that without Television, you'd never have seen a naked female body

Other pertinent information:

  • We wish they were bigger, but for now screens come in 10", 12", 15" and 23". The 15" and 23" are HDTV and PC-ready.
  • The screens are manufactured by HANNspree's parent company HANNstar, the industry leader in LCD technology and innovative uses of letter capitalization.

When you visit the site, don't be dissuaded by HANNspree's more fanciful models, which were obviously intended for children/idiots (please disregard if you've been dreaming of a TV shaped like a monkey, or a carton of fries). Go with something from the "Style" collection, and whether you choose to learn about she-males from The Robyn Byrd Show or the importance of rhinoplasty from Blossom, you can be sure you'll be watching on a set worthy of such profound life lessons.