Knife Throwing

Football season's all but over, so soon you'll need something else to occupy your weekend daylight hours -- for instance, knife throwing. Why not schedule a lesson with The Great Throwdini?

Throwdini bills himself as a master of the "Impalement Arts" -- and since he holds four world knife speed records, we suggest you keep a straight face if he mentions this. His weapon of choice is the 14 inch "Throwdini Thrower", and his skills have landed him guest spots on Letterman, Good Morning America, and ESPN's "Cold Pizza".

Although true proficiency takes time, one lesson with the 'Dini could make you passably lethal. Among the things you'll learn:

The Physics of Knife Flight: Force, degrees of rotation, release points, the acoustics of death screams, etc. The 1/2 Spin: This is the basic seven-foot throw. Advanced lessons teach the three-spin, 25-foot toss -- perfect if you need to beat someone to a cab, but are unwilling to run.

How to "Read the Knife": Depending on the angle at which your knife hits the board, Throwdini will coach you to move forward, scoot back, or give up forever. You can travel to Throwdini's home throwing range in Long Island. Or, he'll come to you. All you need's ten feet of space, room for a 2'x6' target board* -- and, preferably, some friends eager to learn valuable life skills and defray Throwdini's travel fees, tolls, and gas money. Yes, it'll feel strange inviting a knife-wielding man into your apartment, but it's worth it, if only to prepare you for future knife-wielding visitors.

*The Dini assures us that only the incredibly inept miss from seven feet. However, he'll bring a rubber mat to keep your poorer tosses from bouncing off the target and sticking into the floor.

Main Photo Credit: Ben Martin