Lucky Strike

The most humble thing can become lordly with a gross infusion of cash -- for proof, look no further than Scrooge McDuck, who went from a muck-paddling dock-crapper to a bouillon-backstroking cartoon magnate. Gilding up bowling even more than it's already been gilded, Lucky Strike

With 26 lanes and near-football-field expansiveness, this technicolor bowl-hemoth is appointed w/ posh lounges, two full bars, and an expansive menu -- a model originally inspired by The Big Lebowski's set, Hollywood Star Lanes, which has since been demolished to make way for a school (you call that progress?). While the Main Lounge is plush (11 pool tables, double stuffed upholstered arm chairs, food/booze service), the rez-only Luxe Lounge is ridiculous: a 4-lane private suite w/ surround sound, dedicated DJ booth, and a lane-spanning, 24ft-high projection screen distracting enough to be blamed for the most egregious string of gutterballs. Grub consists of a huge array of small plates (mac & cheese bites, beef skewers...), pizzas, and pastas, with sauce-soaked package deals available (e.g., "The Approach", w/ 2hrs of bowling, small bites, & draft beer); as for quality, the menu was designed by an LA chef who's catered Hollywood weddings since the days before celeb couplings merited nicknames -- from Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston (Pittifer) to Barbra Streisand/James Brolin (Streislin!)

Lucky's taking group reservations now -- secure your spot, because no amount of money can class up the humiliation of bribing a doorman at a bowling alley.