People hate music critics because they write endless, florid, pretentious prose, and because, as with kicking 15-yard field goals for prizes, people are universally certain they could do better. Take your shot, with Musebin.
From NY-based audiophiles, Bin lets users weigh in on any album with one-line, 140-characters-max reviews, the rock critic equivalent of doing a bump. To scribble your searingly concise prose, simply click "Add a music review" and type an artist name/album; Bin'll auto-suggest matching releases from Amazon, iTunes, and Last.fm -- if what you're looking for still can't be found, you probably recorded it, and it certainly "sucks".
The Bin community votes up/down on all reviews, which so far range from swashbuckling pretension (Gang Gang Dance: "This album is a dense wash of post-apocalyptic, banshee-wailing, self-deconstructing pirate shanty music"), to bluntly insightful (Kanye West's 808s & Heartbreak: "like a soundtrack for stalking ex-girlfriends on Facebook"), to artfully insightfuller, e.g., Vampire Weekend's self-titled debut: "Not since Paul Simon has there been a more sincere rip off of African music by Upper West Siders".
Bin's currently in closed beta, but they've opened up 1500 spots for Thrillist readers -- who should do just great, accustomed as they are to short reviews.