Pickle juice is magical. It cures hangovers, can be endlessly customized and tastes like a briney-sour mess of liquid joy when tossed back as the better half of a pickleback shot. And now you can buy it by the gallon on Amazon Prime for just $18.69.
Do you need a personal gallon of pickle juice? Is this amount of pickle juice designed for normal consumers? Do these questions even matter when you’re staring at an Amazon Prime screen with free two-day delivery?
The gallon comes from Best Maid, a Texas company that has been around since 1926. It claims it’s the “#1 Pickle in Texas” and that it’s “Go Texas Certified,” a general term for Texas-made agricultural products. You know what they say, every pickle juice container is bigger in Texas, or something like that.
Best Maid states that there are plenty of logical uses for the pickle juice. Like putting it on top of snow cones (we all have our vices). Amazon commenters have added that it’s good for muscle cramps, marinating chicken, and relieving the pains of restless leg syndrome. The most obvious thing to do with all that good juice though, is to make pickleback shots—around 85 of them from each gallon, to be exact. The only other requirement is you also have to buy four bottles of whiskey.
The mix is a proprietary blend of seasonings, but definitely includes red pepper, garlic, chopped onion, sugar, turmeric, ketchup, and modified food starch, according to the Best Maid website. Also lots of salt, 250 milligrams (11 percent of your suggested daily value) in each ounce. But don’t let that worry you. Best Maid suggests using their products within three to six months, and it can last for two years if stored in the fridge.
Go ahead. Let your Amazon purchases wander. This gallon jug is the best thing since canned pickle juice.