Watching 100 People Confess to Stealing Things Is Hilarious and Weird

Everyone steals occasionally. Technically, for the other organisms who evolved from microbes earlier than humans, we're stealing the very air that we breathe.

But perhaps the most defining characteristic of the human condition -- other than suffering, if you're talking to a Buddhist -- is that we've got secrets. So it's pretty comforting to know that from a sample of 100 people, basically everyone has stolen something. We learn this in a new video from Cut, and the confessions reveal all the embarrassing details surrounding petty convenience store theft that people keep buried in their mental closets.

You might be surprised to know that an alarming number of women have stolen makeup, or that roughly 3% of the sample group has stolen a car. Basically, it's a good thing to know that people generally steal things, given that the range here is so extensive. A lot of people steal things from work, for example.

What's funny, is that some people encounter run-ins with law enforcement for stealing things like gum or even less expensive contraband. As a guy featured in the video says: "I was arrested in Key West, Florida for stealing temporary tattoos."

That's got to be some kind of a record. But then again, crime doesn't pay, folks.

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Sam Blum is a News Staff Writer for Thrillist. He's also a martial arts and music nerd who appreciates a fine sandwich and cute dogs. Find his clips in The Guardian, Rolling Stone, The A.V. Club and Esquire. He's on Twitter @Blumnessmonster