This 10,000-Foot Noodle Will Probably Take You a Year to Slurp

To prepare the longest noodle in the world, it takes a village. Winding monstrosities made of flour and sheer strength of will do not fall off trees or grow beneath our feet in the earthen soil. They are made by titans of the noodle-verse, like the people at Xiangnian Food Co, who recently met the Guinness World Record requirement for the longest noodle ever made. 

Feast your eyes on the delectable abomination, which surely tastes completely the same no matter where you bite into it. After the preparation process, which lasted a mind-boggling 17 hours, the Goliath registered at 10,119 feet and 1.92 inches. That is a big noodle, no matter where you are from and what you have seen. It's way bigger than the previous winner of biggest noodle on Earth, which was a measly 1,800 ft and 2 inches. 

If this noodle were a space alien, it would destroy humanity. It weighed in at 147.5lbs, in a weighing process that took three hours. It was then served to 400 elderly folks after being divvied up and prepared with tomato sauce, garlic, and egg. The whole situation is a little strange, but then again, things get weird when world records are on the line. 

Just ask the dude who dunked a cookie into tea via bungie jump

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Sam Blum is a News Staff Writer for Thrillist. He's also a martial arts and music nerd who appreciates a fine sandwich and cute dogs. Find his clips in The Guardian, Rolling Stone, The A.V. Club and Esquire. He's on Twitter @Blumnessmonster