On this week's episode of "People Younger Than You Do Amazing Things and Make You Feel Old": A high school junior did more than 7,000 pull-ups on Saturday while the rest of us spent the weekend playing a Japanese cat-collecting game and Netflix-ing the day away.
Andrew Shapiro actually bested three Guinness World Records, knocking out the most pull-ups ever done in a six-hour (3,515), 12-hour (5,742), and 24-hour window. He accomplished his final tally of 7,306 pull ups in just over 18 hours, destroying the previous record of 6,800.
Shapiro was jointly inspired to go for this record by his father beating colon cancer after a five-year battle, and by a desire to be on American Ninja Warrior. Hey, kid, we all want to be on that show for like 10-15 minutes after watching an episode, but most people are easily distracted and think Cool Ranch Doritos are super delicious. Quit making us look bad.