Maybe as a society, we’ve reached peak frivolity. There are apps you can buy for an exorbitant price, that serve just as a reminder of your expendable income. Ancillary smart phone devices cost thousands of dollars on eBay, because the online marketplace is often wont to cruelty.
But this is a whole new level of grandiosity and screw-you lavishness, and it comes in the form of a $30,000 holiday sweater. Made by Tipsy Elves, the garment is composed of 24,274 crystals made by Austrian diamond manufacturer Swarovksi, so you know it’s flush with all sorts of Kardashian-level bling. The design -- Santa riding a unicorn, probably with a case of diamonds and Cristal inside his satchel -- is admittedly pretty sweet, but you’d probably see a unicorn in the wild before mustering the $30,000 necessary to wear it at the Christmas office mixer.
According to Tipsy Elves, the sweater is the product of some serious TLC, as it took 52 hours to make. The company touts its prized Santa garb as “record setting,” because it just might be the flossiest thing to hit the market since gold flakes were infused with vodka.
If you decide to spend your child’s college fund on this luxury item, it’ll ship to your front door in a luxury frame, as if you expected anything other than supreme opulence when you order a $30,000 diamond-encrusted Santa sweater.
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Sam Blum's first salaried job was worth as much as this sweater. Follow him @Blumnessmonster.