Grocery shopping is the worst. People get so pissed when you, for example, stand for just 10 minutes in front of the organic vegetables, admiring how vibrant kale twinkles beneath a glorious mist. That’s why I use Amazon Fresh -- to remove the drama and get wet kale sent straight to my door. And I have some fantastic news: Starting Tuesday, if you have an Amazon Prime membership, the delivery part will be totally free.
Amazon Fresh, which is available in over 2,000 cities across the US, used to cost about $15 a month in addition to your $119 Amazon Prime membership. But, as I said before, it was worth it because Whole Foods is dictatorial. Like, God forbid you ever try to fist an entire container of dried mango while chugging a kombucha you haven’t purchased -- a Whole Foods employee will most certainly come and kill your vibe.
But now you and I can get the Amazon Fresh perk just by paying the standard Amazon Prime membership fee. Existing Fresh subscribers can benefit immediately, and new customers can register their interest. They will then be invited to join.
According to Vox, you need to order at least $35 worth of groceries to qualify for the free delivery. Tack on an extra $15 if you live in New York City, and another $15 if, like myself, you are paying off a dried fruit shoplifting charge via incremental payment. This is a joke. You have to pay it all at once and it’s a lot.
The multinational technology company has been going a little wild. A few months ago, news came out that Amazon wants Prime members to be able to scan their hands as payment at checkout. Everyone was kinda freaked, but I was thrilled, because that means I can commit more energy to striking up dry, endless conversation with tired Whole Foods cashiers.