I'm an ardent fan of everything Mr. Anthony Bourdain does -- drinking, eating, traveling, cursing, going to Waffle House -- because he's the kind of culinary role model I can really sink my proverbial teeth into. As opposed to my literal teeth. And chances are (since you clicked into this article) you're a reasonably enthusiastic Bourdain-booster yourself. Nice.
All things considered, when it comes to eating sushi "the right way," there are few people I trust more than this chef-cum-addict-cum-author. For instance, he doesn't even need that rubber band/paper thing to hold his chopsticks -- which should demonstrate his immense skill, alone.
1. "Do Not: Make a slurry with all the wasabi and soy sauce."
As a firm promoter of any and all instances of slurry -- especially the edible kind -- I cannot agree with this sentiment. No exceptions.
2. "Do Not: Dip your sushi rice down into the soy sauce."
Bourdain advises, if you must use soy sauce at all, to "...lightly dip it fish side down." That's also his advice for dating mermaids, coincidentally.
3. "Do Not: Say loudly, "This sushi is so fresh, dude."
Is this something that happens? Is Bourdain frequently going to restaurants with Zach Efron?
4. "Do Not: Consider a sushi selection that includes mayonnaise."
I guess that rules out ranch dressing, too...
5. "Do Not: Mistake a lame pan-Asian place for a sushi spot."
“You know the ones; unst, unst, unst music is playing in the background, edamame comes with a cloud of dry ice. A great sushi bar is like the perfect Irish pub. You make decisions with your sushi chef, with your bartender, over the course of the night, and you leave feeling extremely well cared for," Bourdain said, in typical Bourdain fashion.
6. "Do Not: Order a California Roll."
Fair enough. Just let me keep my slurry.
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