1. "Do Not: Make a slurry with all the wasabi and soy sauce."
As a firm promoter of any and all instances of slurry -- especially the edible kind -- I cannot agree with this sentiment. No exceptions.
2. "Do Not: Dip your sushi rice down into the soy sauce."
Bourdain advises, if you must use soy sauce at all, to "...lightly dip it fish side down." That's also his advice for dating mermaids, coincidentally.
3. "Do Not: Say loudly, "This sushi is so fresh, dude."
Is this something that happens? Is Bourdain frequently going to restaurants with Zach Efron?
4. "Do Not: Consider a sushi selection that includes mayonnaise."
I guess that rules out ranch dressing, too...
5. "Do Not: Mistake a lame pan-Asian place for a sushi spot."
“You know the ones; unst, unst, unst music is playing in the background, edamame comes with a cloud of dry ice. A great sushi bar is like the perfect Irish pub. You make decisions with your sushi chef, with your bartender, over the course of the night, and you leave feeling extremely well cared for," Bourdain said, in typical Bourdain fashion.