Arby’s Started a Useless, Hilarious Hotline to Help You Decide What Sandwich to Order

Arby’s, the roast beef purveyor some people here think you’ve been sleeping on, is getting weird with its latest campaign. Starting Monday, the chain will launch a hotline to help you decide what sandwich you should order. The hotline will launch with the above video, shared exclusively with Thrillist. 

The voice on the other end of the line will be comedian H. Jon Benjamin, who is the star of the meat mountain's new series of commercials. You should know him as Coach John McGuirk from Home Movies, but you're more likely to know him as Archer or Bob from Bob's Burgers. (Oh! Or Officer Glimmer from the sadly canceled People of Earth.)

When you call 1-833-44-ARBYS, Benjamin walks you through your situation and attempts to drill down the sandwich that will properly satisfy your sandwich craving. "If you're in an Arby's drive-thru or standing in line in a store and need to decide ASAP press 1," it starts. Under another menu options, he offers to pick your sandwich based on your favorite sport. Though, that goes off the rails pretty quickly. "I'm running out of sports knowledge here," he says after three sports, one of which is professional wrestling.

"If you tennis with the thing and the ball try a uh... pizza slider," he says. "Why you ask? Well, you're the one who called this hotline. If you're upset with what I chose for you press 0." If you press 0 the hotline hangs up on you.

It's totally absurd, and you should absolutely try it if you wind up at an Arby's and don't know what to order. There are worse ways to decide what you're going to eat.

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Dustin Nelson is a Senior Writer on the news team at Thrillist. He wants to know how we get People of Earth back. Follow him @dlukenelson.