Man’s Bag of Sex Toys Causes Airport Terminal Evacuation, Investigation by Bomb Squad

There's a reason you should probably throw your sex toys in with checked baggage before heading through airport security. This principle was codified into law among the unwritten rules of airline travel when a man's bag of sex toys -- which included a vibrator -- caused the evacuation of an entire terminal at Berlin's Schönefeld Airport earlier this week.

The man's bag wasn't exactly carrying contraband, but security personnel identified "suspicious content in a luggage piece," that prompted an investigation. But the "suspicious content," which in reality was a sex toy of the high-tech variety, wasn't easily recognized in the initial luggage scan, so officials ordered the evacuation of Schönefeld's Terminal D (lol), unleashing dildo mayhem that necessitated a bomb squad.

The investigation lasted for an hour, CNN reports, and the owner of the bag was called over the loud speaker to identify its contents. The owner was sheepish, apparently, what with the closure of a terminal and the implicit public shame of claiming a vibrator that sowed panic, but the issue was reportedly resolved around 12pm.

A member of the bomb squad that examined the bag found the situation humorous, naturally. A passenger who witnessed the charade told RT: “After 60 tense minutes, [the member of the bomb squad] returned laughing. The hand grenade was in fact a vibrator from Ann Summers that my girlfriend and I had purchased two weeks previous."

German airports have had a rough few weeks: A similar situation in Munich forced the cancellation of 330 flights and caused scenes when a woman with a suspicious makeup bag skirted through security undetected. While there weren't any kinky instruments in the woman's possession, she too managed to sow some discord that forced 700 of her fellow travelers to spend the night at Munich Airport.

Traveling is just one big, fat chef's kiss, ain't it?