If you're overflowing with the holiday spirit, but lack the fireplace to make it feel like you're cozying up with friends or family in George Bailey's living room, there is a workaround. Yule log videos. They're a thing. People use 'em.
But don't get suckered into thinking they're all the same or that any ol' log will do. No! You can get a Yule log tailor-made to your personality (or at least in the ballpark). Here is the internet's finest assortment of digital fireplaces to turn your television into the hearth you never had.
These Are the 8 Best Bromances on TV, Ranked
That there is a classic fire video. That's a Yule log that never goes out of style. It burns and crackles and is five hours long. Its charm is that it has no charm. It's not trying to do anything other than be wood -- just wood, not even a fireplace.
You might be able to find a slightly better one on paid services. For instance, Netflix has a variety of Yule log videos that come in all the flavors of the holiday fireplace. Fireplace and Melodies for the Holidays will give you, well, a fireplace and melodies. Or there's Fireplace for Your Home, which comes in a couple varieties, including Crackling Birchwood. You can probably guess how Crackling Birchwood varies from Fireplace for Your Home.
Variation on a Classic
Here's another option if the expression of your inner being as a Yule log is a straightforward fire burning damn nearly perfectly. It's an hour-long 4K option put together by PBS.
If you really want something simple, there's even one with a fully decorated living room.
There's truly no better way to spend the holidays than watching Nick Offerman drink whiskey for 10 straight hours. (For added Ron Swanson oomph, listen to him read Tom Sawyer at the same time.)
Do you have trouble tracking down Yule logs that are nerdy enough for you? Here's a Minecraft Yule log. That ought to do the trick.
Lil Bub Log
If your crackling fire is missing the overpowering sound of a cat purring, celebrity cat Lil Bub has you covered.
If you find the whole enterprise of Yule logs a little on the wholesome side, there's a log with your name on it. In 2015, a Deadpool-themed Yule log surfaced, and it's a bag of burning poo. Happy Holidays!
Some genius turned Darth Vader's funeral pyre from Return of the Jedi into a three-hour Yule log that will let you either vent your frustration at The Last Jedi or revel in the film's turn on the Star Wars formula. Or, you know, it could just be kitschy fun.
Yule Inverse Operation to Exponentiation
It's not quite as serene as most Yule logs, but there's a log for science lovers. This one is a log over a bunsen burner and even has some experiments built into it. Watch as barium chloride turns the holiday fire green. How jolly!
Comic book lovers have options coming directly from Marvel. It's not just Tony Stark's fireplace above. You can have a Yule log in space with Guardians of the Galaxy or in Captain America's Brooklyn apartment. There are also Thor and Ms. Marvel variations.
Proving the old maxim that there's a Yule log video for everyone, there's even one out there for HGTV nuts. (Gardeniacs, I believe they're called.) It's nothing more than the Property Brothers hanging out being weird and bored by the electric fire. Makes you want to move to Toronto and renovate a house.
Sign up here for our daily Thrillist email, and get your fix of the best in food/drink/fun.