Ohio resident Andrew Watkins had a serious problem last Friday. He lost his “Big Boy.” Bet you can relate, ladies -- that tightness of chest when you realize your Big Boy is missing, the internal chaos, the waiting, the longing. Where is my Big Boy? He probably asked himself. And then he got the news. Big Boy was at some girl named Jennifer’s house. Perhaps he subtweeted about Big Boy after he heard the news.
Big Boy is the name of a goat who broke into someone’s home in Sullivan, Ohio. Jennifer Keathley, the homeowner, got a call from her son, who suspected it was a burglary, according to a report by Mashable.
Above we have the security footage from the incident. First, you see a regular-degular dog traipsing about, and then there are a few loud bangs. Around four minutes into the footage, you see Big Boy, the goat, popping out from the shadows. He navigates the home, stopping every once in a while to pose, seeming to communicate via stoicism that this is Big Boy’s house now.
Eventually, Keathley’s son found the goat sleeping in the bathroom.
Vets, animal control, and the local humane society all laughed at Keathley when she asked for help, according to an interview with the Ashland Times Gazette. But the local deputies eventually stepped in, attempting multiple methods of coercion before pulling him out by the horns. Checkmate, dom goat daddy.
Then the search began. Who owned Big Boy? After Keathley posted to Facebook, she was able to find owner, Andrew Watkins, who told them Big Boy had escaped a week before and traveled around three miles to catch some ZZZs in Keathley’s bathroom. But if the goat could talk he might have said that nobody owns Big Boy but Big Boy.