This Town Is Hosting a 0.5K Race Because Running Sucks


More power to the people out there who can, and do, run long distance races for fun. It must feel pretty awesome to be in such great shape and to get a medal and all the kudos. But let's face the facts: running blows. Even a casual 5K "fun run" is rarely fun, especially for those of us who struggle to simply pick up the pace when we're running late to the movies.

That's not to say most people wouldn't love to know what it's like to cross the finish line after something like that. And now, there's a way for the aerobic underachievers among us to do just that because the town of Boerne, Texas is hosting a 0.5K charity race that'll afford you the opportunity to experience a winner's finish without even breaking a sweat.

Like a fun-sized version of a traditional 5K or 10K race, the first-annual Boerne 0.5K is being billed as the "running event for the rest of us," and features all the pomp and circumstance of a typical distance event that involves running for, ya' know, more than a couple minutes. That means there will be finish line photos, t-shirts, and medals. All participants will also receive a "pretentious oval Euro-style 0.5k sticker that you can attach to your rear windshield to show everyone what a badass you are," per the "race" description. Oh, and did we mention there are pre- and post-race beers included, as well as a smoking section/"hydration station" with donuts and coffee at the halfway point? 

In case you were wondering, 0.5K is equivalent to 546 yards, or roughly the length of 1.75 football fields. A really long slog.

Much like its longer counterparts, the "race" is a fundraiser, and will be benefitting Blessings in a Backpack, a non-profit that feeds in-need school children on the weekends. $25 gets you a spot in the "run," while those who don't feel like actually exerting any energy at all can secure VIP status by paying another $25 to abstain while receiving an even bigger medal (and the free beer, of course).

Unfortunately, if you live near Boerne and were hoping to get in on the action, the "race" is officially sold out. However, organizers are working to secure the proper insurance (and beer supply) to allow for an even bigger event next year. So... keep up the not-training and hope for the best!


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Joe McGauley is a senior writer for Thrillist. Follow him @jwmcgauley.