New Candy Corn Tastes Like Thanksgiving Foods, Including Turkey, Stuffing & More

But there's no actual corn-flavor pieces?

Courtesy of Brach's/Thrillist
Courtesy of Brach's/Thrillist
Courtesy of Brach's/Thrillist

While candy corn is certainly not made of corn, I assumed that if ever a company decided to make a Thanksgiving-themed version of the sugar squares, they'd at least nod to the name with a corn-flavored piece. But candy company Brach's latest innovation -- dubbed the Turkey Candy Corn mix -- excludes maize completely. Instead, the product features the curious flavors of roasted turkey, cranberry sauce, stuffing, green beans, ginger glazed carrots, and, for dessert, sweet potato pie.

Brach's, owned by parent company Ferrara Candy, has already explored autumnal candy corn themes like Pumpkin and  Autumn Mix. But these products pale in comparison to sugar and corn syrup that tastes like green beans. 

What the original candy is actually supposed to taste like is completely beyond me, but a spokesperson for competitor brand Jelly Bean previously told Thrillist that the taste is "a wonderful blend of creamy fondant, rich marshmallow and warm vanilla notes," and the texture should feel like "biting into butter." Anyone else just let out an agonizing scream?

"We’re always innovating with trends and fun flavors, and we know this year is different than anything we’ve ever seen," said Mariah Havens, Senior Brand Manager of Seasonal Marketing for Ferrara, in a statement. "Much like our new Branch's Turkey Dinner candy corn, which includes a full-course meal of traditional Thanksgiving favorites." Violet Beauregarde is shaking.

Last year, when we were more concerned about which leftovers you could bring on a plane than whether we should risk our lives by taking a plane, I'd have said this candy best functions as a gag gift. But now, many of us are wondering where we're actually going to end up this holiday season, and a candy that contains nostalgic flavor just might be the therapy we need and can actually afford. 

Speaking of afford, the item is available for around $3 per 12oz bag in the prematurely holiday-themed aisle of your local Walgreens. 

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Ruby Anderson is a News Writer at Thrillist. Send your tips to randerson@thrillist.com.