This Beautiful Monster Was Just Crowned the Ugliest Dog in the World
We're all special in our own way: Some of us are great friends, some have arcane skills, and others are so profoundly revolting that we win $1,500 prizes. The long-tongued, broad-shouldered travesty of a dog above is such a creature, and she's officially been crowned the ugliest dog in the world. So congrats to her!
Her name is Zsa Zsa, and she's a 9-year-old English bulldog. This beast among beasts and possible harbinger of the apocalypse took home the top prize at the 30th annual World’s Ugliest Dog contest in San Francisco's Bay Area. For her troubles (constantly hearing the wailing of small children that bear witness to her terrible visage, a tongue so long it likely drags on the ground), she has earned her owner, a Minnesota resident named Megan Brainard, $1,500. The two apparently met via a pet-finding site.
During the competition, the owners walk their special, special dogs down a red carpet. Each dog is then evaluated by a team of judges (unclear what makes one an authority on this matter).
Last year, a 125-pound Neopolitan Mastiff named Martha wore the accursed crown. The Associated Press reports that she had "gas and a droopy face."
But this is Zsa Zsa's time to shine, so in her honor let's take this time to contemplate the existence of a God that would allow something like this to happen and reread William Blake's "The Tyger."
And congrats again, Zsa Zsa!