It all started circa 2009, when Burger King waged war on the United States by taking cheesy tots off the menu. But it was our First Amendment right to ask the BK cashier what the hell was wrong with their company, and to write thought pieces about the stupidity of the business decision, and to make a Facebook page called Bring Back the Cheesy Tots From Burger King. It’s because of our American bravery that BK gave them back. Then they took them away. But they're finally back again now.
If you’ve never had a cheesy tot, because you were born during the tot famine, or because you were misinformed about what you should be spending your money on, then know that the tot is pretty much what it sounds like: a bite-sized combination of potato and American cheese, coated with crunchy bread crumbs. A four-piece order of Cheesy Tots is around a dollar, and the price you pay for not getting them is a lifetime of anguish and spiritual starvation.
I'm just gonna slide this in here, even though I seem to be the only hardcore Sonic enthusiast on my team: When the day comes for BK tater tots to slip once again into the shadows, know that there remains hope in the form of the (IMO) even more delicious Sonic tater tots, which we actually featured in the list of best fast food sides last year. Definitely live in the now until then, though, because who even lives near a Sonic?