As you've probably heard by now, those candy hearts with cute messages on them, aka Sweethearts, aren't really going to be around this Valentine's Day. (The company that makes them went out of business -- so pour one out for Necco.) Does that sound tantamount to reporting that love won't be around this Valentine's Day? Yes, it does. But allow us to offer a promising alternative: a heart full of chicken nuggets.
Chick-fil-A is selling hearts full of chicken nuggets for most people's least favorite holiday. Granted, they won't have adorable words written on them, but you could probably write something in ketchup if you're crafty and determined. The amorous poultry will be sold at participating restaurants in two forms -- 30-count nuggets and 10-count Chick-n-Minis -- and both will be sold in heart-shaped containers.
The offer started back on January 21 and will run through Valentine's Day. So if you don't have a special someone, this will make for an appropriate way to celebrate alone in the parking lot, on the holiday, and every day until then.
All you have to do is ignore the irony of buying a romantic gift from a place with such a bad record on same-sex marriage.