There's a strong case to be made that chicken fingers are the greatest culinary innovation of all time, possibly the apotheosis of sustenance, and at the very least a delightful snack. But this isn't because they're delicious or because they're versatile, though they are both of those things. It's because they keep our kids alive and well.
No matter how fancy the restaurant, no matter if the white tablecloths were bleached with the tears of angels, the establishment can and will serve your ungrateful offspring fried hunks of chicken. And we should all be grateful to the person who invented them for that reason.
But we still may be selling this most golden of dishes short. Because chicken fingers are delicious and versatile, and dammit, it's fun to eat them no matter how old you are.
All it took was a single tweet to start the 'move chicken fingers onto the adult menu' movement.
This Restaurant Offers 50+ Garlic-Infused Dishes
Testimonials about the joys of of-age chicken tender consumption quickly followed.
There were suggestions for how to best to consume them.
Other foods were revealed to have been chicken tenders by another name.
But a counterpoint was made about the economic drawback of reclassifying chicken tenders.
Then the entire concept of the kids' menu was audited.
And the idea of half-portions.
Finally, it was pointed out that maybe it's not chicken fingers that need to change -- maybe it's the concept of aging?
Sign up here for our daily Thrillist email and subscribe here for our YouTube channel to get your fix of the best in food/drink/fun.