Chaos Ensues as a River of Chocolate Flows Through a Small German Town

Sure, a river of melty milk chocolate may sound like the stuff of your craziest sugar-induced dreams, but for a small town in western Germany, this became a bizarre reality. And in short order, a nightmare.

A “small technical defect” at the DreiMeister chocolate factory in Westonnen, Germany, caused a storage tank full of chocolate (2,000 pounds of it, to be exact) to be emptied, Soester Anzeiger (via The Guardian) reported. The chocolate river flowed through the factory and out into the streets where things only got worse.

Upon hitting the chilly pavement outside, the free-flowing chocolate froze over. With no Oompa Loompas on had to handle the clean up, firefighters had to be called in. The street was closed off while roughly 25 fire personnel worked to chisel the hardened chocolate off the street.

When their shovels failed them, the first responders turned to hot water. Eventually, a special cleaning company was called in for backup. It’s unclear how they managed to get the chocolate out of all the nooks and crannies in the street, but the DreiMeister factory planned to be up and running by Wednesday so… it seems they handled it.

Perhaps the most shocking part of this story is how incredibly chill everyone, including DreiMeister boss Markus Luckey, was about the whole ordeal. Luckey told a German newspaper he was grateful the spill didn’t happen closer to Christmas, adding that it “would have been a catastrophe.” Apparently 2,000 pounds of chocolate spilling into the streets is NBD.

The fire department was equally calm about it. In fact, they were more concerned about the potential of a lack of chocolate at Christmas.

“Despite this heartbreaking incident, it is unlikely that a chocolate-free Christmas is imminent in Werl,” the fire department said.

Well thank goodness!

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Caitlyn Hitt is Daria IRL. Don't take our word for it -- find her on Twitter @nyltiaccc.