People Are Translating Passive Aggressive Work Phrases and It's Better Than Therapy
You know how it goes in your work inbox:
Just circling back on this. As per my last email, the deadline was yesterday. I'm balancing a lot this week, so I was unable to assist on the project, which is why you and I had previously discussed your taking over. Did you mean to say in your response to my previous email that I should "F off" because I'm "not your mom?" No worries if so, but I've CC'd the department manager and will let you two take it from here.
Best, and Respect, and Thanks in Advance.
We know what that message really means, and now frustrated employees have taken to Twitter to provide some translations for each overused phrase:
"Thank you for your feedback! I'll be sure to keep it in mind!" <- your criticism is completely irrelevant if not flat out wrong and you know less on the topic than the back end of a donkey, but I have to pretend like I at least considered your opinion.— FerretXilla (@FerretXilla) January 29, 2020
"While I understand your urgency..."— Bärí A. Williams (@BariAWilliams) January 29, 2020
"Procrastination on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."
"Just circling back on this" = "I just need you do answer. A goddamn 'yes' or 'no' will do, JUST ANSWER."— Alisha Grauso (@AlishaGrauso) January 29, 2020
Stealing from somewhere but it’s true: “I hope this helps!”=never ask me for anything ever again— Lala Escargot, collector of curses 🎉 (@guitarpsichord) January 29, 2020
“I wanted to follow up” - you forgot didn’t you? Didn’t you? Am I a joke to you?!— Jamie Keller @ #SCGCON (@Jamie7Keller) January 29, 2020
“As previously discussed” = I didn’t put in writing last time because I thought you were an adult.— Mitch Dinkins (@MitchDinkins) January 29, 2020
“I’m balancing a lot this week” = “Just a quick reminder that I’m not your employee.”— David Gibb (@DaveWritesJunk) January 29, 2020
"I'll let you two take it from here." = "I'm not a part of this and don't want to be."— Alisha Grauso (@AlishaGrauso) January 29, 2020
Two from this very morning:— Hipster Viking Amy (@lasrina) January 29, 2020
“Thanks for looping me in” = You should’ve come to me 27 emails ago and I would’ve saved you 26 emails, dummy.
“In future, please [do X different thing]” = In future we won’t be interacting because you’re dead to me.
“We’ll table that for now” and “let’s sidebar” are fun ways to get shut down in a group chat— Aoife “Fe” Baker 🦕🐯🧠🌈 (@vivaciousvandal) January 29, 2020
Hopefully the next generation will change the culture in our offices, so that we may tell people off to their faces. Until then, thanks in advance for your timely following of me on Twitter, and please let me know if I misunderstood.