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Dog Puts on Oscar-Worthy Performance to Keep From Getting Kicked off Bed

It hard to be dog. All day I say yes master, yes master, when he ask me to fetch, to go outside to poop. I fetch. I poop, loyally. But still he ask more. No reward system, seemingly, besides same dry treat. Master say I need get off bed, even. I no allowed on bed, even after I fetch long time. So I practice method acting when he work, so I can do new kind of trick. Not fun trick -- manipulation trick. Meryl Streep do same type acting, so it good idea I have. 

Here is video of me do method acting trick, when he ask me get out of bed. Meryl, if you see, please say. Humans right when they say you best actor of generation. In video I do trick very well, you can tell, because legs and arms are loose, as if sleeping. And my body so heavy it is hard for tough strong man even to lift me off bed. Ha. But I don't "ha" during acting because I am assuming role of sleeping dog. 

People on Twitter say things about me and my breed. Here what they say:

I think this unfair assessment. That they think I don't hear all things, even secrets. Secrets that ruin lives, maybe. Not threat. Just say.

I think probably not tricked. Dog foundation is trust and humans sometimes no understand that value system. 

Go apeshit because thinking you drive us to Mattress Firm so we can be on bed. Never case. Usually Costco. 

Cheese thing legit, though. 

Anyway, thank you for listen. Not often I am listened. Sorry if all comes out as "bark bark," though, which is sometimes problem. 

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Ruby Anderson did not write this article. She only made some minor edits for the dog.