Thousands of People Are Buying Totally Legal, $500 Flamethrowers From Elon Musk
In the latest confirmation that the future is far more bizarre than we ever could've imagined, Tesla CEO and suspected billionaire supervillain Elon Musk revealed that he's sold more than $5 million worth of flamethrowers in recent days. These wildly impractical implements of destruction/shenanigans are available for the reasonable price of $500, plus tax online via the Boring Company, Musk's aptly named infrastructure and tunnel constructions startup.
This all started when Musk promised that if 50,000 The Boring Company hats sold, he'd start selling the flamethrowers, and he made good on that promise on January 27. He also apparently found an unknown commercial geyser, considering that he's already sold over 10,000 flamethrowers out of a total of 20,000, according to his Twitter.
As to how this could possibly be legal, the Defense Department did away with flamethrowers decades ago but they "remain unregulated in almost every state," according to The Washington Post, and "face limited regulation because they aren't considered a 'firearm,' which -- unlike a flamethrower -- is defined by its ability to expel a projectile using an explosive."
Does that sound absolutely insane? Yes. But so does a timeline in which Elon Musk exists. So, uh, welcome.
According to that same Washington Post report, the only two states that ban flamethrowers are California and Maryland. Musk's flamethrowers, however, might still make the cut in those states because they don't emit flammable liquid and the flame they shoot is relatively short.
This seems like a huge joke, right? Especially since Musk tweeted that "the flamethrower is sentient, its safe word is 'cryptocurrency' and it comes with a free blockchain."
You’d need millions of zombies for a so-called “apocalypse” anyway. Where would I even get a factory big enough to make so many!?— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) January 28, 2018
But when directly asked if this is a gag, a Boring Company spokesperson told The Mercury News: "It is real. You can place an order on the website, and we will start shipping in the spring."
So, there's that.