"Customized horn & movement sounds (coconuts being one, of course) coming to Teslas soon," Musk tweeted on October 6. Then he added a fart and goat emoji and said that those will be included, too, "of course."
While reading this, I blank-faced at my computer screen. My idea of our future transportation rapidly disintegrated; in place of pristine white two-seater pods silently navigating the airways, I saw bros honk-farting at each other recreationally, laughing in the way many incredibly intelligent men in my life always seem to involuntarily when somebody toots their horn.
"Can we have jungle and rainforest sounds," asked Tesla Owners Silicon Valley.
"Sure," Musk responded.
So I've created a list of things I'd like to hear, in case the Tesla founder reads this:
1. Mom shushing me to sleep after a stressful day at my middle school orchestra rehearsal.
2. My editor laughing at my jokes.
3. "That's a stupid bumper sticker."
4. "That was easy" button.
6. "You're canceled."
Musk's tone throughout this Twitter ordeal is unclear. We're pretty sure he is not joking, but cannot make any promises at this time.
Anyways, I guess my only concern about the farting noises is that honks are supposed to be familiar sounds that allow nearby passengers to react quickly to potentially life-threatening situations. But... whatever? [winking-with-tongue-out-emoji]