If "lasagna wings with extra Italy" doesn't bring you to tears, maybe "We see the pasta nachos. They are warm and defeated" will. And it ends with the perfect tag: "Olive Garden. When you're here, you're here."
But that's the thing. It's actually too perfect.
There's a big thread about this by Twitter user Janelle Shane, which is an interesting read that'll teach you a lot about bots. Ultimately though, all of this is just a bit too clever, the logic is a bit too tight (the riffing on an infinite breadstick), and in short, it's literally too good to be true. When bots write things they come out endearingly wonky and surreal. Also, as Shane points out, it would require that "120,000 unique 30-sec Olive Garden commercials exist."