The Forecast in Florida: Cloudy with a Chance of Falling Iguanas
Lazy people like to say sloths are the animals they identify with most, but what about Florida iguanas, who in cold temperatures are utterly incapacitated and plummet lifelessly from trees, becoming stiff figurines in a limbo between life and death? If you don't believe such an accurate portrayal of your psyche could exist, just check out the forecast in Miami this week.
Let The National Weather Service in Miami explain. The agency issued a warning via Twitter on Tuesday:
This happens because iguanas are cold-blooded animals, so they get all screwed up when the temps aren't coddling their self-insufficient bodies. It's not that they die, per se, it's that they enter into an otherworldly realm for a quick physiological vacay while the reptilian Gods watch over their vulnerable bodies. And so do the humans, who have started posting evidence of the phenomenon on social media:
Let us all channel a little catatonic iguana today in honor of our fallen reptiles, and pray that they soon rise with the temperatures so that we too might be inspired to leave our cozy homes.