This Female Sex Toy Sucks... But That's Why You Need One

When it comes to oral pleasure, women get the short end of the lick. As James Brown once opined, this is a man's world, but it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl. But, now, fortunately, women can cut out the middle-man -- or just the man altogether -- and simulate oral sex, without an unwilling or unskilled partner.

The FieraĀ® Arouser or Her, produced by Nuelle, acts different from your typical vibrator. Rather than just stimulating by way of waves alone, the Fiera has a small suction cup that goes directly over a woman's clitoris. Once in place, the gentle suction action combines with a multi-point vibration system to "stimulate blood flow in the clitoris and encourage vaginal lubrication," according to the product's website. As the marketing copy states, "Fiera was specifically created for 'Before-Play,' in comparison to vibrators, which are designed for orgasm." It's also rechargeable, made of body-safe materials, and hands-free. ;)

The FieraĀ® was showcased this week at CES, the world's largest gathering of nerds. Just kidding, that's Comic-Con. CES is a large gathering about technology. To that end, The Verge produced a video about the sexy little product.

Nuelle offers a handful (get it?) of suggestions on how best to implement the toy into your busy life, such as vibe-starting (as opposed to kick-starting) your Saturday morning with 10 minutes of FieraĀ® time and 20 minutes of sexy time with your partner. Or perhaps a great way to unwind after a long day at the office, paired with a glass of wine. Or even "brush your teeth, wash your face, and find a private space to spend a few minutes being mindful with FieraĀ®."

Hell, that sounds like a way more fun routine than flossing before bed.

The Fiera® Arouser for Her costs $250, and comes with the Fiera® Arouser, two SofSense™ rings, a charger, travel pouch, and a user guide. If only the female anatomy came with a user guide for us stupid men.

Regardless, you can get one now, and get your clam jamming, straight away.

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Ryan Craggs is Thrillist's Senior News Editor. He does not have a vagina. Follow him @ryanrcraggs.