In a perfect world, all snakes would be shot into orbit on a special spaceship where they peacefully wrap themselves around cylindrical objects and hiss at each other. But this is not a perfect world. This is the world in which snakes in the midst of combat crash through your bedroom ceiling.
For instance, in the clip above. This Facebook Live video, which is by turns horrifying and hypnotic, was shot by snake catcher Lana Field on Sunday in Brisbane, Australia. The two snakes were wrestling in the home's air ducts when their combined weight led to them falling into a vacant bedroom, where they simply continued fighting.
The snakes are a pair of male coastal carpet pythons, and Field estimates that they're each around 1.75 meters (almost 6 feet) long. And while you'd think witnessing this would be terrifying, it's actually pretty calming as Field shares snake facts and the two handless creatures attempt to wrestle. At around 4 minutes in, there are actually some pretty impressive moves as they toss each other around.
"This pair have been a bit naughty," she observes. "Left a bit of a mess."
Many commentators were convinced that the snakes were mating, but Field clarifies that, in fact, they're fighting because a female had left pheromones in the area. The winner of the contest would have the right to approach her. These bouts can sometimes go on for hours, but the clip only lasts a few minutes.
We imagine the footage of her actually catching the snakes would have been less chill.