You Can Now Buy and Eat a Giant Lollipop Version of Your Own Face
There are just so many reasons to own a giant lollipop version of your face that we don't have time to get into all of them right now. But you're going to want to order yours as soon as possible because a life in which you haven't consumed your own head with great relish and little ceremony isn't much of a life at all.
This incredible opportunity comes from a British company called Firebox, and the lollipop service is called Face Licker. All you have to do is pay $55 (frankly a bargain) and send a photo and description of the person you'd like to transfigure into a tutti-frutti (the only flavor unfortunately) sugar sculpture.
It'll take five to seven working days to manufacture, plus up to 10 working days to arrive for orders outside the UK, so it could be several breathless weeks before you finally experience the comfort of nibbling on your own ear.
This doesn't have to be an experience at the vanguard of narcissism though. You can get these made of anyone: a celebrity, a friend for their birthday, a custom one for every guest at your wedding. You could even get one of George Smith, noted inventor of the lollipop.
It is, after all, what he would've wanted.