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Leaked Fyre Festival Pitch Deck Is a Hilarious Disaster

All future dictionary definitions of the word hubris will need to redirect to the pitch deck for this past weekend's failed Fyre Festival

If you missed the hubbub, the music and culture festival in the Bahamas aimed to be the Rich Kids of Instagram version of a music festival, endorsed by "Influencers" and models. Tickets ran from $1,500 to $12,000 for the destination fest.

Only, the festival never happened, despite the arrival of its guests. Organizers, who are already being sued, couldn't get their act together. When concert-goers began arriving, the camp sites lacked basic amenities. Promises of yachts, celebrity chefs, music, and luxury cabanas became what appear to be disaster relief tents, inadequate lighting, a lack of drinkable water, stranded travelers, melted cheese on white bread, and canceled concerts.

Festival founders Ja Rule and Billy McFarland gave somewhat defensive apologies over the weekend. "I don't know how everything went so left," said Rule in a statement. McFarland told Rolling Stone"Today is definitely the toughest day of my life."  Yet, Motherboard reports organizers warned staff of the pending disaster before the festival started, encouraging them not to bother flying to the Bahamas at all.

Now, Vanity Fair's Hive has acquired the failed endeavor's pitch deck and it's an absurd parody of itself.

One of the more absurd sections describes "The Fyre Starters." They are the social media influencers Fyre hired to promote the event through Instagram and social media posts, often not tagged as advertisements. 

Many of those "Fyre Starters" -- such as Kendall Jenner, Emily Ratajkowski, and Nick Bateman --  have since deleted their posts promoting the sepia-toned nightmare. (Few of those deleted posts were followed by apologies.)

Additionally, the deck features multiple quotes from the 13th century poet Rumi. It goes without saying that the deck is using a pretty liberal interpretation of Rumi's words.

In its entirety, the deck is a treasure. It's saturated with marketing buzzwords, vacuous descriptions, and a boatload of what amounts to Instagram selfies asking for millions of dollars. "The actual experience exceeds all expectations and is something that is hard to put into words," reads what is probably the funniest slide. The organizers definitely should have tried a little harder to put it into words. 

h/t Hive

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Dustin Nelson is a News Writer with Thrillist. He holds a Guinness World Record but has never met the fingernail lady. Follow him @dlukenelson.