$5,000,000 Solid Gold Toilet Stolen, Theft Was Like 'Heist Movie'

Son, there comes a time in every child's life, as he’s sitting on a solid gold toilet at Blenheim Palace, when he has to decide if he wants to be a boy or a man. If he's a boy, he puts the seat down. If he's a man, he steals the damn thing in an epic, movie-like heist. 

Such was the case for a real man last Saturday, or so the authorities think. According to a report by the BBC, a 66-year-old man has been arrested for allegedly stealing a $5,000,000 solid gold toilet from the Palace, located in the UK, early that morning. Police suspect that the crime involved a "gang of thieves" with at least two vehicles. 

The toilet was part of an art exhibition at the Palace. That's why people are squinting at Maurizio Cattelan, the artist responsible for the installation -- some people wonder if the theft is part of exhibition. And what does Cattelan have to say?

In an e-mail to The New York Times, he said,  "I wish it was a prank."

Cattelan said the incident "is deadly serious if even a little bit surreal since the subject of the robbery was a toilet." 

Indeed it was, Cattelan. *squints*

Blenheim Palace's CEO Dominic Hare said the act was a "very fast smash-and-grab raid." The scene of the crime had a lot of flooding and plumbing damage, because it wasn't just some shiny bowl, it was an operational toilet. You could have booked a three-minute slot to use it. 

The toilet, which was a representation on the excessive wealth associated with the "American Dream," was supposed to run (lol) until October 27 of this year. Now no shits will be had in that hedonistic bowl and a surprising number of people give a shit about it. About 100,000 people had already used the toilet when it was installed in New York's Guggenheim museum in September of 2016.
But Cattelan is trying to see the bowl half full. 

"America was the one percent for the 99 percent, and I hope it still is," he told to the NYT. "I want to be positive and think the robbery is a kind of Robin Hood-inspired action."

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Ruby Anderson is a News Writer for Thrillist.