There are many Thanksgiving Day monstrosities out there. The time-honored Turducken -- a.k.a. the choice entree of John Madden and your crazy uncle Steve -- completely personifies American gluttony by stuffing a chicken inside of a duck inside of a turkey. It sounds grotesque, but the triple-bird endures, because it probably tastes like #freedom.
But there are also dietary alternatives for those who seek to punish themselves on Thanksgiving by abstaining from meat. One of these lovely creations is the Tofucken -- a vegan Thanksgiving feast that sounds like a weird porno. In this glorious video, a Tofucken is prepared by an appropriately dirty-mouthed grandma. Like any God-fearing senior citizen, she loves disparaging “cooking show freaks” and “simple douchebags,” while preparing the substitute meat.
The old lady is Peggy Glenn, who shares profanity-laced videos on her thriving YouTube channel as Granny PottyMouth. The spitting image of a kindly grandmother, she lets obscenities fly like a reckless frat bro after a night spent bench pressing thirty-racks. But she always does so with a kind spirit and gentle touch.