If you guessed a, d, e, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, and r as actual ingredients: Congratulations! You are a human encyclopedia of obscure foods, or a true Lord of the Rings nerd. In either case, Brit+Co went to the length of calculating how much such a concoction would cost -- at a minimum, $185. And that's not even counting the blender you'll need.
Just for measure, the Goop Queen herself even provided a hilarious quote to top it all off.
"And by the way, this is an extremely basic version," Paltrow said. "You can put in bananas or berries. Sometimes I put in half of a sweet potato and make like a little pumpkin pie smoothie. And that’s really it."