There are too many deer, we say, as if they can't hear us. Shoot 'em down! Here's a license! That's why it is totally beyond me why we're so surprised to hear about a recent that involved a deer hitting a man in a McDonald's parking lot -- the place where, by virtue of our beloved Coca-Colas held in fragile plastic cups, we human consumers are most vulnerable.
Hold your Cokes close tonight, my brethren, and watch (see the video above) as Ken Worthy and his wife Deanne witness firsthand the superabundant rage of The Hunted.
In a surveillance video posted last week to Facebook by Ken, you can see the couple walking out of a McDonald's in Locus, North Carolina, with cokes in hand. Soon after the video starts, a deer sprints towards Ken and kicks its hind legs forward in an epic offensive display. Ken tumbles over and his wife comes to his aid while the animal flees. They both look around to see if it's over.
Ken told CNN affiliate WSOC that the whole ordeal was "absolutely nuts."
"It was just a bit of brown," he said while explaining the moments before, "and then I saw his face, I was down on the ground -- that quick."
But the man didn't spill his Coke. Deer can't take that from us, at least.
“There’s important things in your life and Diet Coke is one of them,” Worthy told WSOC.
We were unable to get a statement from the deer, but we assume based on its unparalleled badassery that it's more of a Coke Zero kinda guy.