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Watch This Competitive Eater Teach You to Eat Hot Dogs Properly

When someone's alias is 'Deep Dish,' you know they know a thing or two about filling their body with carbs. If you need proof of this, look no further than Patrick "Deep Dish" Bertoletti, an ex-competitive eater and expert on consuming damp hot dog buns and hot dogs with commendable speed and precision.

In this video from The A.V. Club, he'll show you how to do just that. According to Bertoletti, the process is just a few simple steps: grab your dog, snap it in half, eat the dog, grab your bun, dunk your bun, eat your bun, repeat. If you're thinking this sounds a little too simple, you're right. There's a whole spiritual component to shoving that much meat and bread into your face that the video entirely skips, but that's probably something that can't be taught. 

At 1:19, you get to see these techniques applied, which is probably the most fascinating part. Is it a bit revolting, especially with the sounds? Sure. But it's also the closest you're going to get to experiencing the sublime in 2018, so don't look away. 

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James Chrisman is a News Writer at Thrillist. Send news tips to news@thrillist.com and follow him on Twitter @james_chrisman2.