If your partnership doesn't fit neatly into this pyramid however, they also have a solution:
In an Atlantic article called "Masters of Love," the Gottmans "propose a recipe for becoming a 'love master' instead of a love 'disaster' by responding the right way to what they calls your partner's 'bids for connection.' A 'bid' is when your lover points out your kitchen window and marvels, 'Look at that beautiful bird outside!' You could go 'Wow!' and get binoculars (an active 'turn-towards'); mumble 'Huh,' and keep reading your newspaper (a passive reaction, less good); or say, 'I'm sick of your fucking birds. What about the broken garage door?'"