Traditionally, parking lot fights take place between sweaty shirtless men with a history of skateboarding and punctuating sentences with "bro." But allow us to humbly submit that all future parking lot brawls should take place between iguana proxies. Iguanas are already shirtless, after all, and as you can see in the video above, when their fights are compelling, hilarious, and above all confusing.
The video was taken by two women on a 10am Starbucks run in Boca Raton, Florida. They happened upon the two iguanas, and thankfully decided to document the encounter and share it to Facebook. "Oh my god, they're eating each other," one says as the video opens.
But then they start doubting themselves. "Are they fighting or sexing?" one of the women muses. It's hard to stress enough how much the commentary adds to the experience here.
But no, this isn't a mating dance. This is war. They circle each other, they bite each other, they headbutt each other. They're both bright green.
Then the women realize they're holding up traffic and drive away.
h/t CBS News