UPDATE: As we suspected, this app is fake. Definitely a good thing.
Finally, an app for juiced-up bros to beat the absolute crap out of each other. Finally? No, redact that.
Billing itself as “Tinder for fighting," a new soon-to-be app called Rumblr has popped up and allows young, aggravated people to "find, meet, and fight other brawl enthusiasts nearby." This can't be a real thing. Please don't let this be a real thing.
With an interface similar to that of Tinder, Rumblr lets people swipe and match with one another and then choose to either "Schedule Fight" or "Pussy Out." Again, this can't be a real thing. You can also explore nearby fights and filter by fight type to make sure your fists meet the right jawbone to fracture. Or, you could probably show up to already scheduled fights. Ugh.
While the app doesn't technically exist yet, the beta version will supposedly be launching soon, but as Vice reports, the insanity doesn't end. There are also pages for aggressive chicks (RumblrHER) as well as people who like to fight in teams (RumblrGROUP)."
It sounds a lot like the new Squad app, but instead of meeting a new group of friends to network with, you'll end up face-down on the pavement while a group of dudes chant "WORLDSTAR" as your spleen ruptures.
Pray to God this doesn't end up being real.
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Jeremy Glass is a writer for Thrillist and has had enough Internet for today.