A Bear Tried to Kill This Guy, So He Bashed it in the Face with a Wine Bottle

Bears and humans aren't designed to cohabitate. Sometimes, bears get understandably pissed off, forcing humans to throw a “whirring haymaker” at the bear’s jaw, or risk getting all torn up like Leonardo DiCaprio in The Revenant.  

Others, like Jack Ballantyne of Saskatchewan, Canada, invite said bears into a bar-room kumite, and use a wine bottle to banish the beast from whence it came. From The CBC, we learn that Ballantyne was camping in the wilds of La Ronge, Sask., last Friday, before he was accosted by a pissed off bear at 4am.

The 44-year-old was still awake -- having a drink, enjoying the quiet of nature -- when the bear came and took a swipe at him, leaving him with scratches aplenty on his arm. Ballantyne, who is hard of hearing, didn’t hear the bear advance. "All he remembers is that the bear took a swipe at him, hit him and he went flying," said Rose Ballantyne, Jack’s younger sister.

Rose claims her brother used a wine bottle to fend the bear off, and punched the animal square in the jaw like only a salty old bastard knows how. She added “His hand was puffed up, too. He said he punched the bear in the nose...He did get a pretty big scratch on his arm. He was pretty stiff from being knocked over in the attack, but that's about it."

Ballantyne took the attack like a champ, and was transported to a hospital in Saskatoon for treatment after experiencing some internal bleeding, but was released the next day. When it’s all said and done, Mr. Ballantyne deserves your plaudits and blessings -- after all, he can now enter the the territory of a bonafide bear-puncher. Maybe one day he can reconnect with his old carnivore foe, and the two can share a glass of wine with no love lost.