This hulking mass of sinew and testosterone is named J.D. Anderson, and he’s here to smash some ice.
Anderson, a self-stylized “strongman” with spikey hair and a mean looking scowl, likes to break baseball bats over his thigh, bend frying pans with his fists, and mash things with his teeth. He also grunts, because it fits his otherwise menacing demeanor.
For his latest stunt, Anderson -- a.k.a. “The Iceman” -- tries to bro his way into the Guinness World Record books by careening into the “most ice blocks ever broken by a human battering ram.” Those are Guiness’ words, not ours. The former record-holder in this category, Anderson attempted to climb back up the mantle on an Italian TV show, leaving a trail of baffled audience members in his sweaty wake. (Savage Americans, man).
Get a load of this brute.
After he wallops the row of ice blocks and falls to the ground like a bowling ball curbed by a freight train, Anderson lays on the ground, cognizant of his failure. All the affable host can say is “Mama mia.”
He’s got a deep cut on his arm and a palpable expression of shame as the host parades him before the audience like a human steroid. It is hard being strong. The Iceman broke 12 ice blocks -- five short of the current record, meaning he was sent home with nothing more than his big muscles and presumably eighteen concussions.
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