Fallon Cracked Up Over People's Hilarious New Year's Resolutions

The best-known thing about New Year's resolutions is that basically no one is capable of keeping one. They are made with the best of intentions and entirely forgotten before the calendar flips over to February. If you're not going to make it, why not just pound them out in a few words? That's the conceit of Jimmy Fallon's new installment of "Hashtags."

If you've never seen it, the segment provides viewers with a prompt like "My Weird Family," and asks them to tweet a story sparked by the prompt. Hundreds of people share stories, then the best ones are read by Fallon on The Tonight Show. This time the show asked people to capture their New Year's resolution in just five words using the hashtag #5WordResolution. 

As is usually the case, viewers delivered some worthwhile responses, including the strangely specific, "Read more. (Menus don't count.)" There was also this absolute champion's response: "Stop procrastinating. Will start tomorrow." They know us better than we know ourselves. 

Watch the full segment above, then check out some of the best "Hashtags" segments of 2018, like Why I'm Single, Weirdest Halloween Ever, Why I'm A Grinch, and Turkey Day Tradition.

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Dustin Nelson is a Senior Staff Writer at Thrillist. Follow him @dlukenelson.