Despite what you maybe learned in sex-ed growing up, America is still crawling with sexually transmitted disease. Thursday night, Jimmy Kimmel made a point of discussing the scourge of STDs bearing down on this great land in his opening monologue.
Kimmel used an infographic map produced by Backgroundchecks.org, which cites STD data compiled by the CDC last October. As the map shows a definitive ranking of STD-rates by state, the late night host was given ample fodder for dirty jokes. Citing rates of gonorrhea and chlamydia per every 100,000 residents, the map provides a reasonable portrait of American STD power-rankings. America truly is exceptional in this regard.
As the idyllic foliage of Vermont attracts some of the smallest rates of clap and herpes -- the state is ranked 47th -- Kimmel used that to craft a tourism ad for the state (appropriately endorsed by Bernie Sanders). Alaska, on the other hand, leads the pack with the highest proportion of chlamydia and gonorrhea, with 738 and 151 residents afflicted per 100k, respectively. As a result, Kimmel noted that we’d be damn prudent to keep our genitals a safe distance from The Last Frontier.