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Jon Stewart Has a Few Ideas for Trump's Next Executive Orders

Published On 02/01/2017 Published On 02/01/2017

Jon Stewart is back, and this time, with a comically long red power tie and a dead animal on his head. Really, the "friend of the show"-in-chief appeared on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on Monday night to reveal President Donald Trump's next batch of controversial executive orders. And, uh, let's just say they're pretty savage.  

The appearance marks the former Daily Show host's first appearance on Colbert since Trump took office, and as always, he does not disappoint. One of the new orders would force China to "immediately and without hesitation" hand over the Great Wall of China so the United States can use it to secure the border. Another "future" executive action -- or rather, a Papal encyclical -- would officially change the official national language to "bullshit" -- especially for Trump Administration officials.

"The new official language of the United States is bullshit," Stewart says in the clip. "I, Donald J. Trump, have instructed my staff to speak only in bullshit. And by the way, none of that 'Sure, I'll speak bullshit at work, but at home, I'm going to use facts and real information.' No, bullshit all the time. Immersion. It's the only way to be fluent."

But towards the end of the segment Stewart takes on a slightly more serious tone by announcing a final executive order that declares Donald Trump as "exhausting." He goes on to say it's only been "11 fucking days" since Trump was sworn in as president and that "the presidency is supposed to age the president, not the public." However, Stewart leaves us with a hopeful call-to-action message about "the greatness of America," so by all means check the video (shown above) for yourself. You probably need it.

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Tony Merevick is Cities News Editor at Thrillist and could use more Jon Stewart appearances in his life right about now. Send news tips to news@thrillist.com and follow him on Twitter @tonymerevick.

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