KFC Wants You to Drink Gravy Cocktails Because There's Never Enough Calories

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Just short of filling IV tubes with purified lard, KFC is encouraging people to imbibe cocktails with an unlikely primary ingredient: gravy. The global fried chicken chain is known for marketing gimmicks that, if real, would likely make its stock crater. The fried chicken bath bomb, for example, can help you smell like a drumstick. 

But now, KFC is promoting its foremost chicken sauce by unleashing several gravy cocktail recipes. Seizing on the "stocktail" trend, which has been sweeping cocktail lounges with various meat-infused libations, the fried chicken chain hopes you will pour its gravy into a cocktail glass, put it to your lips, and drink the hyper-caloric contents.

This all depends, however, on how much you love submerging things in KFC gravy. The company's leaders think its gravy is popular enough for people to drink from a glass. 

“Our fans repeatedly express their love for our gravy, which always sparks ideas within the team," Marion Racine, Marketing Manager at KFC UK & Ireland, toldThe Independent. "We know our gravy is good enough to drink -- so with stocktails being a real hit at the moment, what better ingredient to take them to the next level?”

KFC has also released several videos showing how to make the drinks, the first of which for the "Gravy Mary," is detailed in the video above.

But there's more. Check out the "Southern Twist" below: 

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Then, the "Fingerlickin' Sour" combines mezcal and yes, gravy, which is probably a first in the history of cocktails. 

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Since these aren't being sold at any actual KFC outposts, the onus is on you to shake a mixer brimming with hot gravy and plethora of other fancy ingredients. Who knows, if you wind up hosting a soiree with all manner of KFC branding, the company might even commission you an oil portrait. But that's probably just wishful thinking. 

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Sam Blum is a News Staff Writer for Thrillist. He's also a martial arts and music nerd who appreciates a fine sandwich and cute dogs. Find his clips in The Guardian, Rolling Stone, The A.V. Club and Esquire. He's on Twitter @Blumnessmonster.