This Colonel Sanders Bearskin Rug Is the Creepiest Thing Ever

Courtesy of KFC

Obviously, we live in a brave new world, beyond imagining to our predecessors. But sometimes it feels beyond imagining even to those of us currently living in it. For instance, right now. Right at this exact second. Because look at this goddamn rug.

This floor-covering is apparently KFC's attempt to join the Valentine's Day festivities. The fried chicken chain is hosting a contest on Reddit for prize packages that include this rug, which is why it exists. Actually, that doesn't explain at all why it exists -- as far as we've come as a civilization, that question remains unanswerable. 

According to Chew Boom, the winner of the contest will get not only this Colonel Sanders bearskin rug, but also two fried chicken pajama onesies, a gift card for KFC for two for a year, and a yearly subscription to an online streaming service.

There are three ways to enter, with one prize package for each. (Please note that your entries have to be Safe for Work.)

  • A photoshop contest: "We made a .psd for you to mess with. Make it weird but please be cool, our bosses are watching and inappropriate submissions mean you can’t win the rug"
  • A storytelling contest: "You and your Valentine arrive at a romantic cabin in the woods. You walk inside to discover a Colonel Sanders Bearskin Rug. Best story wins"
  • A drawing contest: "Draw this Colonel Sanders Bearskin Rug into a scene and win one IRL"

The contest will end on Sunday, February 10 at 11:59pm EST, and the lucky (?) winners will be notified on Monday, February 11, 2019. The rug and whatnot will be delivered in time for Valentine's Day. 

To be clear, the implication of the image above seems you, your beloved, and the colonel are going to... make the beast with three backs.

A brave new world, indeed.

h/tChew Boom

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