This Little Girl Found a Sex Toy and Wore It as Jewelry Until She Was Caught
The awkwardness level on this story goes from zero to sixty faster than a Model S. While silly bandz aren't quite the trend they were years ago, kids still love colorful jewelry. So, when a little girl found a vibrating cock ring at her aunt's house, well, fun!
That is the exact reason Ben Lauder received a terrifying and hilarious text message with a terrifying and weirdly charming picture of his girlfriend's niece wearing the sex toy as a bracelet.
Timothy DeLaGhetto and David So Hit Up the Taste of Little Italy Food Festival
"I just replied asking 'What?' and I was trying to think what I’d done wrong now. I was not expecting to get that at all. When the picture came through I just couldn’t believe it," Lauder told Metro of getting the above texts from his girlfriend Amy-Jade Barlow. "Amy-Jade’s niece had been running around with it on her wrist like a watch... I was so embarrassed."
That left Barlow in the awkward position of having to take away her niece's nice new watch and explain the situation to her family. "I took it off her right away but she cried when I took it away. It’s now in a new very safe hiding place but Macy keeps asking for it and looking in my drawers," Barlow said.
There's an important lesson in here for everyone. That lesson is pretty clear to most, though it's not clear that Barlow's mom understood the lesson. "I found the whole thing so funny right away," Barlow said, "but it was so awkward explaining what had happened. My mum kept asking what it was but I just told her she doesn’t want to know."
h/t Elite Daily
Sign up here for our daily Thrillist email, and get your fix of the best in food/drink/fun.