Local Police Say Raccoons Aren't Rabid, Just 'Extremely Drunk'

You know that feeling when you're out drinking and someone calls the local police because they think you may or may not have rabies? We get it, girl. And so does this pack of giggly raccoons in Milton, West Virginia.

The rowdy raccoon squad was seen "staggering" around town earlier this week, looking "disoriented" by multiple humans, according to local police. In response to complaints of potentially rabid raccoon activity, officers investigated -- only to find that the raccoons were not ill, but rather, "drunk on crabapples."

Apparently, the frisky creatures were gorging themselves on fermented crabapples that had dropped down from local trees. Once they've aged, the fallen sour fruits tend to have a pretty decent alcohol content. If you've got a dainty, raccoon-like constitution, that can be dangerous. 

Hey, 2018's been a hard year. I think we've all gone overboard once or twice. No judgement here. But either way, Milton police urge you not to touch the little guys. As it turns out, rabies is still a concern.  

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Eliza Dumais is a news writer at Thrillist. Follow her on Twitter for proof.