Have you ever considered being honest with yourself about your desires, throwing caution to the wind, and heisting 150 pounds of waffle mix? Don't answer that; it could be potentially incriminating down the line. The point is, one man allegedly decided to live this dream, and though in a strictly legal sense we must condemn him, in a more abstract sense we say let he who has never contemplated massive theft of breakfast ingredients cast the first scone.
The man being accused of this crime is Brandon Lee Nelson, a 33-year-old resident of Peachtree City, Georgia. He was arrested earlier this month after not only stealing 150 pounds of waffle mix but also allegedly selling that waffle mix. A Peachtree City police spokesperson told The Atlanta Journal-Constitution that Nelson had a “stream of buyers that would contact him for the waffle mix and he would provide it when contacted.” They added, “He is the seller of waffle mix.”
Think about that. There's not much else to say. But really think about that for a minute.
Nelson reportedly stole the Golden Malted waffle batter from his former employer, breaking into their storage shed around 1pm on August 31. The crime wasn't reported until September 10, once Nelson was identified via security footage. He was arrested that very day for burglary.
Let this be a lesson to all of us.
h/t AJC.com, The Takeout